Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Formula
Dear Sophia,
The other day I had to make the Godawful decision of buying you formula (nan plus) because my milk production is down 60% (Yes, I did the math). I didn't want to give you the formula, but I couldn't leave you with only 2 4 ounce bottles, and I was simply not expressing anymore. Direct feeding wasn't a problem, except I would have to miss work. I thought about that, but decided that I might eventually need to supplement with formula anyway, I might as well start now.
You didn't like it.
I'm almost happy that you didn't, except that means you might go hungry at times, at least for a short while. And I hate it when you go hungry. I don't know what happened, but this week, my production went down I am on a strict pumping schedule. Every 2 hours, 3 max.
I hate that you might not be getting enough milk, but I know you're never really hungry, because we do get generous with milk and you love to suck directly.
I started writing this entry a few days ago and now, we're still at 4 ounces per 2 hour sessions, but at least we have 4 bottles back in the fridge and I'm not so scared anymore. I am forever grateful to our friends in the office that they are supportive of this.
i love you
Oh wait, you licked my face today. You're weird. love you anyway.
The other day I had to make the Godawful decision of buying you formula (nan plus) because my milk production is down 60% (Yes, I did the math). I didn't want to give you the formula, but I couldn't leave you with only 2 4 ounce bottles, and I was simply not expressing anymore. Direct feeding wasn't a problem, except I would have to miss work. I thought about that, but decided that I might eventually need to supplement with formula anyway, I might as well start now.
You didn't like it.
I'm almost happy that you didn't, except that means you might go hungry at times, at least for a short while. And I hate it when you go hungry. I don't know what happened, but this week, my production went down I am on a strict pumping schedule. Every 2 hours, 3 max.
I hate that you might not be getting enough milk, but I know you're never really hungry, because we do get generous with milk and you love to suck directly.
I started writing this entry a few days ago and now, we're still at 4 ounces per 2 hour sessions, but at least we have 4 bottles back in the fridge and I'm not so scared anymore. I am forever grateful to our friends in the office that they are supportive of this.
i love you
Oh wait, you licked my face today. You're weird. love you anyway.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Halloween
Dear Sophia,
We are now ready for Halloween. I was sure I was going to dress you up in a boy barong but that smart idea was quickly diminished by your lola so I had to go looking for a girly costume over the weekend. I still wasn't sold on a fairy or a witch outfit and was hoping for a ladybug costume but didn't want to shell out Php1,800 on something you're only going to use once. We went to Rustans to talk myself into buying the ladybug outfit when we noticed another stash of costumes nearby and I instantly fell in love with it.
There were several choices, one was of course, the customary Witch outfit, which we ended up getting, and there was a Rabbit, which Ninong Ton got for you. A runner up that didn't make it was a dragon - looking back now I wish we got it na rin - but waste not want not so ...
What I love about these costumes is that its not going to hassle you so much. Its a bib and bonnet tandem and whoever is carrying you will just need to wear a complimentary background color (the garden bedsheet for the bunny and the orange blanket for the witch)
This is your first Halloween and we will be with our cousins, from your lolo's side. It's been awhile since we all had a get together and hopefully this tradition picks up again. I remember the Christmases we used to spend at Project 6 and was saddened that the get togethers ended when Yayay died.
We are now ready for Halloween. I was sure I was going to dress you up in a boy barong but that smart idea was quickly diminished by your lola so I had to go looking for a girly costume over the weekend. I still wasn't sold on a fairy or a witch outfit and was hoping for a ladybug costume but didn't want to shell out Php1,800 on something you're only going to use once. We went to Rustans to talk myself into buying the ladybug outfit when we noticed another stash of costumes nearby and I instantly fell in love with it.
There were several choices, one was of course, the customary Witch outfit, which we ended up getting, and there was a Rabbit, which Ninong Ton got for you. A runner up that didn't make it was a dragon - looking back now I wish we got it na rin - but waste not want not so ...
What I love about these costumes is that its not going to hassle you so much. Its a bib and bonnet tandem and whoever is carrying you will just need to wear a complimentary background color (the garden bedsheet for the bunny and the orange blanket for the witch)
This is your first Halloween and we will be with our cousins, from your lolo's side. It's been awhile since we all had a get together and hopefully this tradition picks up again. I remember the Christmases we used to spend at Project 6 and was saddened that the get togethers ended when Yayay died.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Shrieking
Dear Sophie,
You learned something new this week. Shrieking. Yesterday, you wouldn't stop. We tried everything. I was worried it was because of the broccoli. When I was researching broccoli, every link from Google said that it was for babies 8 months and above, but mom insisted so I checked with Yatco (your Pedia) and he gave the go ahead. Anyway, I was worried you were in pain because you wouldn't stop shrieking. The only time you stopped was when I nursed you on my right booby and you had both legs propped against my thighs. I tried to move and it resulted to another bout of shrieking. Please never do that again.
For breakfast we had to serve you the broccoli pumpkin mix again, and I was afraid you were going to hurt ut thankfully you were fine. No crying. I wonder what happened last night. Mom said it was probably because you couldn't find a good sleeping position.
Hugs.
You learned something new this week. Shrieking. Yesterday, you wouldn't stop. We tried everything. I was worried it was because of the broccoli. When I was researching broccoli, every link from Google said that it was for babies 8 months and above, but mom insisted so I checked with Yatco (your Pedia) and he gave the go ahead. Anyway, I was worried you were in pain because you wouldn't stop shrieking. The only time you stopped was when I nursed you on my right booby and you had both legs propped against my thighs. I tried to move and it resulted to another bout of shrieking. Please never do that again.
For breakfast we had to serve you the broccoli pumpkin mix again, and I was afraid you were going to hurt ut thankfully you were fine. No crying. I wonder what happened last night. Mom said it was probably because you couldn't find a good sleeping position.
Hugs.
Feeding
Dear Sophie,
You love soup. You love to eat. Right now my worry is that I may be over feeding you.
At five months and 4 days:
* 3times a day
3 ice cubes of frozen baby food (usually some mashed up gulay from Tinola or Nilaga, or squash, sayote, potatoes - whatever is handy.
Half a *gerber* cup of Prunes
2 ounces of clear soup (usually from Malungay and or whatever greens is available)
water (usually an ounce or two)
*About 36 ounces of breastmilk a day
* 4 ounces of apple juice through out the day.
Caran thinks its too much, so I checked with my pedia and he said its different with each kid. You look ok naman so I'm going to continue.
Today I made your food for the week (usually I make your meal for the day lang)
Brocolli, Squash and Rice
Malunggay and Papaya soup
I love you.
You love soup. You love to eat. Right now my worry is that I may be over feeding you.
At five months and 4 days:
* 3times a day
3 ice cubes of frozen baby food (usually some mashed up gulay from Tinola or Nilaga, or squash, sayote, potatoes - whatever is handy.
Half a *gerber* cup of Prunes
2 ounces of clear soup (usually from Malungay and or whatever greens is available)
water (usually an ounce or two)
*About 36 ounces of breastmilk a day
* 4 ounces of apple juice through out the day.
Caran thinks its too much, so I checked with my pedia and he said its different with each kid. You look ok naman so I'm going to continue.
Today I made your food for the week (usually I make your meal for the day lang)
Brocolli, Squash and Rice
Malunggay and Papaya soup
I love you.
Monday, October 18, 2010
I Can
Dear Sophie,
I can see it. Just you and me all day, sleeping together at night. I can see it. I want it so bad. I need to start something, my business soon. I love my job, especially the people I work with, but I want to be financially independent from a regular job soon.
I am very very sad right now, must be the hormones. I don't want to go to work and just sleep next to you because that's what I need right now but what you need right now is a reliable mother. And to be that, I believe I have to be reliable everywhere. Which means I have to go to work tonight.
Oh but I could just work from home, so I could be with you, report to work a couple of days a week, that would be the life.
Mommy
I can see it. Just you and me all day, sleeping together at night. I can see it. I want it so bad. I need to start something, my business soon. I love my job, especially the people I work with, but I want to be financially independent from a regular job soon.
I am very very sad right now, must be the hormones. I don't want to go to work and just sleep next to you because that's what I need right now but what you need right now is a reliable mother. And to be that, I believe I have to be reliable everywhere. Which means I have to go to work tonight.
Oh but I could just work from home, so I could be with you, report to work a couple of days a week, that would be the life.
Mommy
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Hormones
Dear Sophie,
Ive been crying all day. Little sniffs here and there... nothing extreme. I'm not sad about a particular anything, just about the way of the world, about how some people are suffering. You see, the world has a weird sense of balance. Too many rich people, but an even bigger number of poor people. Sometimes it will break your heart, just thinking about it.
We have been blessed. We have more than most people do, and always always remember that. Always be thankful. If you want to be happy, don't look up, look down. Looking at people more fortunate than you might result in resentment, anger, jealousy - things that are never good for you. Looking at people less fortunate will always remind you about how lucky you are.
So be thankful. Ever since I got pregnant with you, on the way to work, I repeat a prayer over and over again. Someday I'll teach you that prayer. For now, I'm sleepy. You're with you yaya, just outside my room.
I love you.
Ive been crying all day. Little sniffs here and there... nothing extreme. I'm not sad about a particular anything, just about the way of the world, about how some people are suffering. You see, the world has a weird sense of balance. Too many rich people, but an even bigger number of poor people. Sometimes it will break your heart, just thinking about it.
We have been blessed. We have more than most people do, and always always remember that. Always be thankful. If you want to be happy, don't look up, look down. Looking at people more fortunate than you might result in resentment, anger, jealousy - things that are never good for you. Looking at people less fortunate will always remind you about how lucky you are.
So be thankful. Ever since I got pregnant with you, on the way to work, I repeat a prayer over and over again. Someday I'll teach you that prayer. For now, I'm sleepy. You're with you yaya, just outside my room.
I love you.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Good morning
Dear Sophia,
One of the very many wonderful things you did today was to wake me up. Well, to be more exact, it was to wake me up the way you did. Which was just to touch my face. I fell asleep reading to you, (in fairness tulog ka na naman e) and when I opened my eyes it was to your big bluish gray eyes. I wonder how long you have been awake, waiting for me to wake up.
:*
One of the very many wonderful things you did today was to wake me up. Well, to be more exact, it was to wake me up the way you did. Which was just to touch my face. I fell asleep reading to you, (in fairness tulog ka na naman e) and when I opened my eyes it was to your big bluish gray eyes. I wonder how long you have been awake, waiting for me to wake up.
:*
Belt Tightening
Dear Sophia,
I am not buying you anything but diapers and baby food this month. This is frustrating, knowing how much I make, how little I actually need to spend on a month, being so moneyless. I think I've reached an all time low. I am telling you this, because I want you to learn from my mistakes. I have been blessed with parents who I always could fall back on, you, unfortunately, have not. But it's not yet too late.
If my projections are correct, we will be debt free, completely, on March 2011. It isn't much, but I've just never really been good with money. Flows through my hands like water. sigh.
I am not buying you anything but diapers and baby food this month. This is frustrating, knowing how much I make, how little I actually need to spend on a month, being so moneyless. I think I've reached an all time low. I am telling you this, because I want you to learn from my mistakes. I have been blessed with parents who I always could fall back on, you, unfortunately, have not. But it's not yet too late.
If my projections are correct, we will be debt free, completely, on March 2011. It isn't much, but I've just never really been good with money. Flows through my hands like water. sigh.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Bad Nipple
Dear Sophie,
Akala ko naman, kaya you preferred to nurse directly kasi you preferred me, mali lang pala yung pag butas ni yaya ng teats mo. Sigh. gotta buy us new teats later. Uuuuy, we're going out later. But we can't go to the mall. I don't have enough cash. But don't feel sad, it's only because I've been buying you so many things. I'm going to stop buying senseless stuff now and will start saving money. With the exception of your pambahays, you have enough clothes (frilly, silly cute dresses) and shoes to last you the next 5 months, seriously.
So forgive me if all we're going to do later is hang out at Shopwise to buy you your new teats. I promise to carry you in your carrier and visit every isle. I promise to let you look at all the interesting things all you like. And most importantly, I promise not to run out of money ever again. :* Ang sarap sarap mo naman kasing bihisan e.
Akala ko naman, kaya you preferred to nurse directly kasi you preferred me, mali lang pala yung pag butas ni yaya ng teats mo. Sigh. gotta buy us new teats later. Uuuuy, we're going out later. But we can't go to the mall. I don't have enough cash. But don't feel sad, it's only because I've been buying you so many things. I'm going to stop buying senseless stuff now and will start saving money. With the exception of your pambahays, you have enough clothes (frilly, silly cute dresses) and shoes to last you the next 5 months, seriously.
So forgive me if all we're going to do later is hang out at Shopwise to buy you your new teats. I promise to carry you in your carrier and visit every isle. I promise to let you look at all the interesting things all you like. And most importantly, I promise not to run out of money ever again. :* Ang sarap sarap mo naman kasing bihisan e.
 |
| Avent Medium flow nips |
*update, weee. We have money. We're going to SM Sucat instead. Sucat and not SM Southmall because it's too far and I want to drive. I'm still at work, but I'm all packed ready to leave because I'm so excited to go home to see you. I didn't get to pump a lot of milk (just 5 ounces) but I'll pump when I get home. I really need to start on my brilliant business idea so I can quit my job and stay with you now, while you still like staying with me. But you know what, you and I, Im going to try to make us bestfriends.
:*
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Fever
Dear Sophie,
I started going back to the gym and I think I may have been a bit too excited because I was all sickly Tuesday at work and had to go home early. Wednesday I was aching all over and Geraldine, a househelp, rubbed ice on my feet to help ease the pain.
I felt so helpless because all I wanted to do was sleep in, but I had you to take care of. There was your solid food that I had to prepare and you I had to feed and bathe. I am not (really) complaining, but keep in mind that before you, I did not have anyone or anything to concern myself with. I was really quite selfish. So anyway, I was in so much pain bathing you was a problem that instead of me holding you steady your yaya Letty had to take over the task. And. Oh. My. God. The Pumping of Milk. IF that is the pain other mothers complained about experiencing when they first attempted to nurse and/or pump, I can completely understand why they did not push through with it. Ok, that was me whining. The feel of the pump stretching my skin is still too fresh. I apologize.
The best part about being sick is that I get to stay at home and sleep with you, and I will never allow myself to be so sick that I will not be allowed to sleep next to you.
Somebody had asked me a few weeks ago how it was like, having you, and I told him that you are the love that I've been looking for, the one I would never tire of, or get bored with. AT the risk of this sounding a lot like a cheap song, I know now what love is.
And again, I love you.
I started going back to the gym and I think I may have been a bit too excited because I was all sickly Tuesday at work and had to go home early. Wednesday I was aching all over and Geraldine, a househelp, rubbed ice on my feet to help ease the pain.
I felt so helpless because all I wanted to do was sleep in, but I had you to take care of. There was your solid food that I had to prepare and you I had to feed and bathe. I am not (really) complaining, but keep in mind that before you, I did not have anyone or anything to concern myself with. I was really quite selfish. So anyway, I was in so much pain bathing you was a problem that instead of me holding you steady your yaya Letty had to take over the task. And. Oh. My. God. The Pumping of Milk. IF that is the pain other mothers complained about experiencing when they first attempted to nurse and/or pump, I can completely understand why they did not push through with it. Ok, that was me whining. The feel of the pump stretching my skin is still too fresh. I apologize.
The best part about being sick is that I get to stay at home and sleep with you, and I will never allow myself to be so sick that I will not be allowed to sleep next to you.
Somebody had asked me a few weeks ago how it was like, having you, and I told him that you are the love that I've been looking for, the one I would never tire of, or get bored with. AT the risk of this sounding a lot like a cheap song, I know now what love is.
And again, I love you.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Back to work
Dear Sophie,
It's Monday, and your grandparents are back. Which means that I am writing this update from my office. I am missing you terribly. When I first came back from my maternity leave, it didn't hurt so much, because all you did then was eat and sleep. We didn't play and snuggle much. The past five nights we spent together you were cuddled up on me. I especially love how you look when you fall asleep nursing. Though you're surrounded by love right now, sleeping with your lolo and lola, I'm sure you're missing me too.
Your rubberducky
It's Monday, and your grandparents are back. Which means that I am writing this update from my office. I am missing you terribly. When I first came back from my maternity leave, it didn't hurt so much, because all you did then was eat and sleep. We didn't play and snuggle much. The past five nights we spent together you were cuddled up on me. I especially love how you look when you fall asleep nursing. Though you're surrounded by love right now, sleeping with your lolo and lola, I'm sure you're missing me too.
Your rubberducky
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Carousel
Dear Sophie,
Your grandparents are in Davao, so I've been on leave since Wednesday night. We haven't been able to do much except:
1. Reopen my account (the one that closed because I forgot that I emptied it out after giving birth.)
2. Settle online account stuff I bought for you. We have been buying a lot. I'm scheduled to go to Divi on the weekend of the 15th to look at items I could sell online.
3. Pick up my handy dandy new phone from Smart. Samsung Monte - which I will sell because I'd rather use the money. I have the bestest phone in the world (SE G700) and I don't want to have to learn new commands again.
4. Organize the shoe closet so when it comes time to transform it into your closet, it will be easier.
I like sleeping next to you. I like pulling you close to me and sniffing the back of your head. I like the way you cuddle - you put your leg over mine. These are the things I will miss when I start going to work again, but things that will keep me home on weekends.
Friday while I was doing my banking I left you at the 6F office, where I think you charmed our friends there. After that we went to Festival and I bought a few things, picked up my phone, and rode the carousel. We took pictures, and I was sure they were saved, but I couldn't find them when I uploaded my phone pics this afternoon - I used my phone cam bec the cam is with lola and lolo.
I am so looking forward to going to Disneyland with you when you hit 3.
Your grandparents are in Davao, so I've been on leave since Wednesday night. We haven't been able to do much except:
1. Reopen my account (the one that closed because I forgot that I emptied it out after giving birth.)
2. Settle online account stuff I bought for you. We have been buying a lot. I'm scheduled to go to Divi on the weekend of the 15th to look at items I could sell online.
3. Pick up my handy dandy new phone from Smart. Samsung Monte - which I will sell because I'd rather use the money. I have the bestest phone in the world (SE G700) and I don't want to have to learn new commands again.
4. Organize the shoe closet so when it comes time to transform it into your closet, it will be easier.
I like sleeping next to you. I like pulling you close to me and sniffing the back of your head. I like the way you cuddle - you put your leg over mine. These are the things I will miss when I start going to work again, but things that will keep me home on weekends.
Friday while I was doing my banking I left you at the 6F office, where I think you charmed our friends there. After that we went to Festival and I bought a few things, picked up my phone, and rode the carousel. We took pictures, and I was sure they were saved, but I couldn't find them when I uploaded my phone pics this afternoon - I used my phone cam bec the cam is with lola and lolo.
I am so looking forward to going to Disneyland with you when you hit 3.
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