We went to Festival Mall today. This was your first trip to the mall and you were absolutely adorable. You were noticeably a lot more observant, listening to the strange new sounds surrounding you. I was worried you'd be troublesome, but you were a happy camper, sucking your pacifier after you've finished the milk we brought you. (Pacifier will be a topic again at some point, and this trip was made possible by only 2 days worth of pumping, hooray!!!)
Festival Mall is not a baby friendly mall what with the elevators positioned all the way to the middle of the mall, and not all of them working. We tried to catch one but it was always puno and I didn't think the attendant noticed - or cared - that a mother with something big (stroller) needed it because after his trip down the groundfloor, he still filled the elevator with able bodied people. oh well. I had to do a nappie change and the changing room wasn't anything special. I noticed that the belt usually included in the changing table was torn so Im not sure that's legal.
I was happy to be out so I called your ninong Joe to see if he was in the area, and turned out he was. He was with Tito Mike (Shep Pia's husband) and Tita Izel, so met my friends you did.
I bought you some cute stuff again. well. I should really start controlling my spending habit. But at least this time I don't have any regrets. My next trip won't be anytime soon, and I'm thinking I'd wait a month and then get you new set of clothes because I'm sure by then you'd have outgrown our stocks.
1. Sleeveless
2. Short sleeves
3. Socks.
4. Bib
So far I don't foresee anything else.
ohhhhh
I need to start deciding on your baptism, but here is what we have so far:
October 10
Sponsors and Immediate family only.
Anyway, back to our trip. You were quietly content for about an two hours, but then you got sleepy, and that was the only time you started fussing so back to the spa (We treated Lola to a body scrub and massage today for all the love she's giving us) we went. By this point we have finished your supply of milk and it was time to feed you again.
I want to be rich so I can buy you all the cool gadgets in the world.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Pacified
I cried a little today.
Mommy gave you a pacifier.
And I couldn't do anything about it.
As I saw your look of wonderment at the lack of food coming from the teat, I went out of the room with an excuse to relieve the bladder.
As soon as she left the room I removed the pacifier and prepared to give you my breasts, only to find you asleep.
But not content. I waited five minutes and ha. you were awake and I was ready with my milk.
Mommy gave you a pacifier.
And I couldn't do anything about it.
As I saw your look of wonderment at the lack of food coming from the teat, I went out of the room with an excuse to relieve the bladder.
As soon as she left the room I removed the pacifier and prepared to give you my breasts, only to find you asleep.
But not content. I waited five minutes and ha. you were awake and I was ready with my milk.
Pacify me
I'm about to make a decision on something that could affect your psyche and I am, of course, having a hard time deciding.
To give you a pacifier or not.
To give it to you now seems the logical thing to do. What with you crying every so often and playing with my nips to fall asleep, giving it to you would save us both a lot of tears and frustrations now.
But I agree with what Caran once said, about letting you deal with something without involving instant gratification. (That's not exactly how she said it, but that's the gist) Besides, so what if you drive me crazy every once in a while? I'm bound to do that to you when you're older.
So no pacifiers for my lil girl
To give you a pacifier or not.
To give it to you now seems the logical thing to do. What with you crying every so often and playing with my nips to fall asleep, giving it to you would save us both a lot of tears and frustrations now.
But I agree with what Caran once said, about letting you deal with something without involving instant gratification. (That's not exactly how she said it, but that's the gist) Besides, so what if you drive me crazy every once in a while? I'm bound to do that to you when you're older.
So no pacifiers for my lil girl
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Shouldn't hold back... on shopping
I went shopping today. I left you with your grandmother. For two hours.
This field trip was made possible by three days worth of pumping milk.
Ah. The mall. It's been so long. I used to go there everyday for my daily walks.
I bought you a bathtub net today, and now I'm hoping it would make bathing you less complicated for me so we won't have to depend on your grandma so much. I had planned on buying you several colorful clothing - because your whole wardrobe consists of one color. White. Well, there are several colorful ones that were gifts but you're still too tiny for them. So stuck to the white receiving blankets, bedsheets, sleeveless and night tie sides we are.
I got several sets as best as I could with the time constraint and feasted on the possibilities.
But as I was paying, I remembered what your grandmother said, "she should only wear white, makes it easier to spot dirt and any creepy crawlers" and I immediately discarded the colorful stuff.
Which I now KINDA regret.
Not totally, because I've been co nanny for my 4 nephews and nieces, and I've never known any one of them to wear anything but white until they were about 6 months old. Everything white.
And I wasn't so nervous as I brought my shopping stuff out for mommy's careful inspection. It was a sigh of relief when she smiled at the pillow case with the crown.
But Still.
These are the things I will buy on our next field trip:
1. That cute pink onesie with the Phil flag design.
2. The two cute pink onesies from Disney kids.
3. That cute circle shaping pillow with the princess design. Hopefully this time they will have letter S.
4. The pink and white recieving blankets I saw but didn't get.
So now I don't know when I can go out again. But You will turn 1 month soon. And we can go out together.
:D
This field trip was made possible by three days worth of pumping milk.
Ah. The mall. It's been so long. I used to go there everyday for my daily walks.
I bought you a bathtub net today, and now I'm hoping it would make bathing you less complicated for me so we won't have to depend on your grandma so much. I had planned on buying you several colorful clothing - because your whole wardrobe consists of one color. White. Well, there are several colorful ones that were gifts but you're still too tiny for them. So stuck to the white receiving blankets, bedsheets, sleeveless and night tie sides we are.
I got several sets as best as I could with the time constraint and feasted on the possibilities.
But as I was paying, I remembered what your grandmother said, "she should only wear white, makes it easier to spot dirt and any creepy crawlers" and I immediately discarded the colorful stuff.
Which I now KINDA regret.
Not totally, because I've been co nanny for my 4 nephews and nieces, and I've never known any one of them to wear anything but white until they were about 6 months old. Everything white.
And I wasn't so nervous as I brought my shopping stuff out for mommy's careful inspection. It was a sigh of relief when she smiled at the pillow case with the crown.
But Still.
These are the things I will buy on our next field trip:
1. That cute pink onesie with the Phil flag design.
2. The two cute pink onesies from Disney kids.
3. That cute circle shaping pillow with the princess design. Hopefully this time they will have letter S.
4. The pink and white recieving blankets I saw but didn't get.
So now I don't know when I can go out again. But You will turn 1 month soon. And we can go out together.
:D
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Crying
I don't get it. You are one happy baby when you're awake and not hungry. You smile content, knowing that I am one soft whimper away, ready to give you anything you want. But sometimes when you sleep, you sleep troubled. Every once in a while you cry out, like your heart is breaking. And then you sniff and go back to sleep.
And I think and I think, trying to remember if I had any sad thoughts when you were in my womb. Any sad thoughts at all, and I can't think of any. I had murderous thoughts, plenty of it, what with my temper, but that was it. Most of the time I was a happy camper.
So why do you cry out in your sleep?
And I think and I think, trying to remember if I had any sad thoughts when you were in my womb. Any sad thoughts at all, and I can't think of any. I had murderous thoughts, plenty of it, what with my temper, but that was it. Most of the time I was a happy camper.
So why do you cry out in your sleep?
Blogging again
Since finding out the unexpected happened, I have been bugging friends for information and advice on expecting. Mec, Pat and Caran are three people who should start charging me professional fees because I bombard them with questions about the how tos of pregnancy (then) and Childcare (now). Our chats are extremely valuable to me and I can only thank them by making sure that their advices are always thought of, considered and, mostly followed. And of course, by passing on the information I get down the line, as Pia and Elma can attest to.
One of the advices I got from Mec is that I document everything. For some strange reason, I haven't been clicking as I much as I thought I would be. It's not that I am not enamored with Sophia, nor because I have been too busy. I just haven't been in clicking mood. Every once in a while though I feel the urge to do so hence the (very) few pictures uploaded. Mec mentioned writing down every thought, I guess something like keeping a diary of sort because soon there will be too many cute moments I wouldn't be able to remember them all. I'm not much of a writer, so I hope she, if she ever gets to read this someday, will bear with me.
Well she should. Because I am bearing with her now.
Words can not begin to describe how wonderful Sophia is. She is so gentle. Like all babies are. I wouldn't bother with the trivial stuff and go on and on about how soft her skin is, or how much I love watching her. Especially now that her eyes get so round when she's confused or interested in something. Up until I started typing I was irritated that she was seeing me as a cow. When others pick her up, she's all smiles and sweet looking. But when she's with me, she's all yelling, looking for my breasts so she can feed. She can never just be carried by me, there would always be a form of feeding.
But now, as I write this, I realize that hey, that shows that she knows me and can tell when I'm the one holding her. And that makes it all right.
Friends have asked about me breaking down, and I said I haven't. Nor do I plan to. I'm a single mom and I can not afford to breakdown. I can not afford to be anything but strong and happy and rich and perfect and healthy for my baby.
When I was pregnant, people asked about how I was able to do the things I did, how I didn't seem at all to have any of the complications pregnant women go through, and my answer was simple. I couldn't afford to be anything but ok. And I'm glad it's that way, because I'm a much stronger person because of it. It's giving me a fighting chance to not just hope to be the kind of parent to Sophie that I would want for myself but actually be that parent.
One of the advices I got from Mec is that I document everything. For some strange reason, I haven't been clicking as I much as I thought I would be. It's not that I am not enamored with Sophia, nor because I have been too busy. I just haven't been in clicking mood. Every once in a while though I feel the urge to do so hence the (very) few pictures uploaded. Mec mentioned writing down every thought, I guess something like keeping a diary of sort because soon there will be too many cute moments I wouldn't be able to remember them all. I'm not much of a writer, so I hope she, if she ever gets to read this someday, will bear with me.
Well she should. Because I am bearing with her now.
Words can not begin to describe how wonderful Sophia is. She is so gentle. Like all babies are. I wouldn't bother with the trivial stuff and go on and on about how soft her skin is, or how much I love watching her. Especially now that her eyes get so round when she's confused or interested in something. Up until I started typing I was irritated that she was seeing me as a cow. When others pick her up, she's all smiles and sweet looking. But when she's with me, she's all yelling, looking for my breasts so she can feed. She can never just be carried by me, there would always be a form of feeding.
But now, as I write this, I realize that hey, that shows that she knows me and can tell when I'm the one holding her. And that makes it all right.
Friends have asked about me breaking down, and I said I haven't. Nor do I plan to. I'm a single mom and I can not afford to breakdown. I can not afford to be anything but strong and happy and rich and perfect and healthy for my baby.
When I was pregnant, people asked about how I was able to do the things I did, how I didn't seem at all to have any of the complications pregnant women go through, and my answer was simple. I couldn't afford to be anything but ok. And I'm glad it's that way, because I'm a much stronger person because of it. It's giving me a fighting chance to not just hope to be the kind of parent to Sophie that I would want for myself but actually be that parent.
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