Formula

Dear Sophia,

The other day I had to make the Godawful decision of buying you formula (nan plus) because my milk production is down 60% (Yes, I did the math). I didn't want to give you the formula, but I couldn't leave you with only 2 4 ounce bottles, and I was simply not expressing anymore. Direct feeding wasn't a problem, except I would have to miss work. I thought about that, but decided that I might eventually need to supplement with formula anyway, I might as well start now.

You didn't like it.

I'm almost happy that you didn't, except that means you might go hungry at times, at least for a short while. And I hate it when you go hungry. I don't know what happened, but this week, my production went down I am on a strict pumping schedule. Every 2 hours, 3 max.

I hate that you might not be getting enough milk, but I know you're never really hungry, because we do get generous with milk and you love to suck directly.

I started writing this entry a few days ago and now, we're still at 4 ounces per 2 hour sessions, but at least we have 4 bottles back in the fridge and I'm not so scared anymore. I am forever grateful to our friends in the office that they are supportive of this.

i love you

Oh wait, you licked my face today. You're weird. love you anyway.