New Year

13 kilos

2.92 Feet

Lola and lolo went to the US in November, and they stayed for 34 days. The months leading to November was really stressful for me, I was worried about how you were going to react to a long absence of your lola. Safety was also a concern but with lola Mila staying with us, it was a bit more controlled.

You didn’t even look for them the entire month they were away.

By the time we arrived at the airport to drop your grandparents off, lola and I were both crying heavily. You saw me crying, and grabbed the hanky lola was holding so you could wipe my tears. Awww.

But let’s not make a habit of that ok? Me crying in front of you and you wiping my tears.

You were ok, and was barely sad the entire time. I was afraid to show you the videos we made of lola and lolo because it might remind you of who you're missing but when I eventually did you didn't even want to see it.

>>>>O<<<<<

Christmas 2011 was spent in the ER because of an infection you developed from an insect bite. A few trips to Dr Rommel Yatco and everything was back to normal by the 2^nd day of January. He had to inject you with a mega dose of antibiotics which of course was very painful, and you were really upset for awhile but it helped a lot. 

You still don’t speak much, but your lack of words do not stop you from being very talkative, or from letting us know what you want.

You are shy, and will dance when you don’t think anyone’s watching.

You climb up everything you can.

You have taken a fancy to playing cook, and have started taking care of your baby dolls.

You choose what shoe to wear. 

Post Operation

The operation went well. Well not really, I had to be readmitted after being home a day due to an allergic reaction to (most probably) the anesthesia that they used. I was in the hospital an extra 3 days and I was so terrified of dying, because then you wouldn’t have me around. You were also sick (measles) and I was very sorry I couldn’t be there to take care of you. This is when I appreciated your grandparents the most. I am very thankful that they are who they are and you received an even better care than even I could’ve given you.

You were pretty sad though, and it seemed as though you were missing me too, because you were uncomfortable and was mopy a lot.

I will never again take my health for granted.

Now, two weeks later, I don’t eat as much as I used to, and have been taking the meds I’m supposed to be taking. I am drinking more water and have been excising as much as my post op condition can take.

You are so precious.

I wonder if you know that when you are asleep I snuggle and hug and shower you with kisses? I know you feel loved, from me and from everyone around you.

I love you.   

Worries

Dear Sophie,
My operation is a day away, and I am very nervous about this. There was an earthquake yesterday and I worry about one happening while the doctors are operating. What if I die? I am sure you will be ok after missing me for awhile. You will definitely wonder where I've gone. I am not ready to die yet. I am so afraid.
. You are to never meet with your father. I will haunt anyone, my sister included, if they so much as make him see you.

. You are to eventually be with your Ninang Kathy, my cousin. She doesn't know it yet, but she will be a great mother someday.

I am so afraid. But God's Will be done, and I can only ask that it be that I am to live on for years and years more so we can be together.


I am sorry I didn't get to pick the right father for you, and I'm sorry you don't already have one yet. I don't really see the rush, you are too young to understand, and Dad is enough right now. I am hoping I will be given more chance to finding one, and already we've discarded a few candidates for lack of emotions on my part.

I am babbling, but that is because I am very worried. It's like a dark cloud following me everywhere I go.

Have I told you yet today how much I love you?

Operation

Hi Love,

I need to have a cyst on my throat removed, and though this is routine and nothing to be afraid of, I can't help but worry a little. I don't want to die. Though your grandparents will definitely take good care of you, they're old and you need me. Your father is completely out of the picture, though sometimes I think about letting him into our lives.

When I think he has become good enough, responsible enough. But I wouldn't hold my breath waiting.

I love you. My heart is overflowing with love and I have nothing but corny words.

You did this today

Updating Sophia Facts

Hospital - July 26

We were on our way to the opening of Ate Joanne's Scramble franchise when you started making gagging sounds and eventually threw up on me. We thought you might have swallowed a bit of make up brush hair. While we were eating the scramble, you threw up again, just a little so we gave you more scramble. In the car on the way back you threw up a lot more and I asked dad to please take us to Asian. When we got there they brought us to a small room that reminded me of an operating room. There you threw up again. At this point I was drenched with ickiness because you were only throwing up on me. I called Ninong Ton to come to our rescue and bring us clothes. 

You were later moved to pediatrics, with 2 other kids with the same symptoms, and when you couldnt keep anything down, the doctor recommended that you be "observed" for the night. Doc Yatco concurred and I made arrangements to get you a room.

Of course you needed an iv.

That is the single most unpleasant thing I had to go through. And that man who tried to put the iv in is the worse person ever. If I thought it would have helped, I would have beaten him up to a bloody pulp. I would have dragged him all the way to the Alabang Market and beat him up in the dirty road. But I knew it wouldn't help so after his first attempt failed, I calmly told him to stop. I refused the iv. He was a moron and turned out you really did not need one.

When we got to the room, you were at first wary of your new surroundings but with in minutes you were happily exploring every corner of the room. Which was possible because you did not have an iv!


Hay you didn't vomit anymore that day, though we were still very careful feeding you.

The next day you were just happily exploring again and the doctor gave you a clean bill of health. They couldn't find anything. Must have just been a stomach flu