Commercials Make Mommy Cry

Sophie,
There is infinite sadness around us. Every once in a while, no matter how happy, how complete and how fulfilled we are, the sadness gets to us.

Sooner or later we have to dance to the sad music in our head.

Indulge in MTV moments, staring out the window of the bathroom where you go to smoke. Resist the urge to close your eyes while driving.

It's okay to be sad. But you can not be sad long. I know it can get addicting, but you must come back from it. Praying and Smiling helps. Pray to all the angels and saints, pray to God and Mother Mary. Pray out loud if you must, but you have to pray it out.

(Sliding Doors 1998, great movie)

Mommy is listening to: We are young (Fun) 

"Tonight

We are young

So let's the set the world on fire

We can burn brighter

Than the sun"

 

Dream a dream

To be loved the way you are loved
To be cared for and looked after the way you are
To have someone to come running to when I'm sad and lonely or excited and happy

Speech

You still refuse to speak. I know you can talk because you would talk when you get surprised. i dont know why. Should I take you to the doctor? would that make it a problem? probably. you're too young. I know you're smart because you learn fast. just no pointing to things or speaking. You know how to operate my iphone. You know how to turn the tv on and how to turn it off. you also know how to change the chanel.
Should i be worried? I will give it 2 more months, and then I shall consult.

Swimming

You love the water.

Slowly, but surely

You said Milk today. While pointing to your milk.

:D

New Year

13 kilos

2.92 Feet

Lola and lolo went to the US in November, and they stayed for 34 days. The months leading to November was really stressful for me, I was worried about how you were going to react to a long absence of your lola. Safety was also a concern but with lola Mila staying with us, it was a bit more controlled.

You didn’t even look for them the entire month they were away.

By the time we arrived at the airport to drop your grandparents off, lola and I were both crying heavily. You saw me crying, and grabbed the hanky lola was holding so you could wipe my tears. Awww.

But let’s not make a habit of that ok? Me crying in front of you and you wiping my tears.

You were ok, and was barely sad the entire time. I was afraid to show you the videos we made of lola and lolo because it might remind you of who you're missing but when I eventually did you didn't even want to see it.

>>>>O<<<<<

Christmas 2011 was spent in the ER because of an infection you developed from an insect bite. A few trips to Dr Rommel Yatco and everything was back to normal by the 2^nd day of January. He had to inject you with a mega dose of antibiotics which of course was very painful, and you were really upset for awhile but it helped a lot. 

You still don’t speak much, but your lack of words do not stop you from being very talkative, or from letting us know what you want.

You are shy, and will dance when you don’t think anyone’s watching.

You climb up everything you can.

You have taken a fancy to playing cook, and have started taking care of your baby dolls.

You choose what shoe to wear. 

Post Operation

The operation went well. Well not really, I had to be readmitted after being home a day due to an allergic reaction to (most probably) the anesthesia that they used. I was in the hospital an extra 3 days and I was so terrified of dying, because then you wouldn’t have me around. You were also sick (measles) and I was very sorry I couldn’t be there to take care of you. This is when I appreciated your grandparents the most. I am very thankful that they are who they are and you received an even better care than even I could’ve given you.

You were pretty sad though, and it seemed as though you were missing me too, because you were uncomfortable and was mopy a lot.

I will never again take my health for granted.

Now, two weeks later, I don’t eat as much as I used to, and have been taking the meds I’m supposed to be taking. I am drinking more water and have been excising as much as my post op condition can take.

You are so precious.

I wonder if you know that when you are asleep I snuggle and hug and shower you with kisses? I know you feel loved, from me and from everyone around you.

I love you.